Posted by Big Mike on October 23, 2013

Old jokes from an old joke book … please furnish your own rim shots ….

—My doctor put me on a very restrictive diet of Filet Mignon three times a day. In the first week I lost 200 dollars.

—Sign at a bar: “If you’re driving your husband to drink, drive him here!”

—Sign in a bar: “We do not serve women at this bar, bring your own!”

—Sign in a deli: “If you can’t smell it, we ain’t got it!”

—“LOST: Thick-lensed reading glasses.  Finder, please advertise in large print.”

—“LOST: Wristwatch, second hand missing, winder loose, glass cracked.  $10 reward if returned in perfect condition.”


The nose knows

June 29, 2013

Okay, stay with me on this, because it may seem out of left field..but…

I love the smell of the building where our studios are situated.  It’s probably something used by our most excellent cleaning crew, a husband and wife team who I see when I stop by late at night.  The smell is hard to describe, but it’s one that for some reason has a calming influence on me.  Having worked as a part-time weekend on air guy at Sunny (along with morning newsman until moving to the PR world last year) I’ve spent many weekend hours here at the Sunny studios.  It’s a job I’ve enjoyed, because of the fact I get paid to listen to some of my favorite songs.  I’m very lucky indeed, since I get the privilege of being allowed an audience on a commercial radio station, but also, because I enjoy what I do.  That being said, I always equate the fragrance of the station (the smell when I enter the building) as one that has a calming, soothing effect on me.  Strange, I know, but it’s something I’ve come to notice over the past few months.  We all know there are certain songs that immediately take you back to a different time in your life.  That’s part of the allure of the music our station features.  But I believe the olfactory memory triggers can be just as strong.  Perhaps this is why the station calms me, because it makes me recall simple weekend afternoons, listening to my favorite music.   The nose knows indeed!

Ode to One Top Mom

May 25, 2013

I realize Mother’s Day is behind us, but I want to send a shout out to a mom who I see on a daily basis, but is not related to me, or is even human.  No, she is a mom who I’ve never talked to, or have even made eye contact with.  This mom is a goose, and she sits atop a nest on a small island in the middle of a pond along the Onondaga Lake Parkway.  Perhaps you’ve seen her, in all sorts of conditions, as you head towards the city on the parkway, just after you go beneath the railroad bridge.  If you were to quickly and safely glance to your right, you would see an island, a nest, and a goose perched on top.

Except today.  Today this proud momma was up and moving in front of a new group of goslings, slowly swimming around with the group following behind.

This made me think about how motherhood is both nature and nurture, some of it ingrained, some of it figuring it out as you go along.  There is maternal instinct of course, but this goose, to me at least, was a prime example to the great lengths a mother will go for her children.  Whether it’s your mom, or this goose, who had a difficult job before, but can’t even imagine what she’s up against now.


Posted by Big Mike on April 28, 2013

A few words about the Chinese buffet: just because it is an all-u-can-eat doesn’t mean u should. What usually starts out as a delicious sampling of many delicacies will turn into an awful mistake if you are not too careful. I am sure I am not alone. How many of you have stuffed yourself to the point of falling down right in front of the restaurant, not able to pick yourself up and you end up rolling to your car? And then you want to die? If I were in the mugging business, I would mug people leaving the Chinese buffet.  They will not fight and are not able to run away. A wise fortune cookie once warned not to eat so much that one could not escape danger.

The Chinese buffet is a challenge you will not win.  When you leave exhausted, there is more food then when you arrived.  Sure is hard to resist, especially when you are in a place where everyone is a big eater and you are not the fattest person in the joint.  Gluttony loves company.

Yet I have to admit I don’t understand why a Chinese buffet would have American foods on the trough. At a Chinese restaurant do we really need macaroni and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs or hot dogs and sauerkraut? Are Chinese chefs just trying to show off?

Question: is it possible to offer so much deliciousness for only 6.95?  The price is so cheap it makes me wonder about the quality.  They must be cutting corners someplace, but where? I don’t know. As Confucius said “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”

Confucius also said: “To be truly happy and contented, you must let go of what it means to be happy or content.” Huh??

Chinese cuisine goes back thousands of years and China is a big, diverse country with all kinds of regional variations such as Cantonese, Hunan, Szechuan, Mandarin, Fuijan, Zhejang and more.  In Central New York we seem to have excellent Chinese food in every village and shopping plaza. There are small upscale restaurants, where every dish is made to order.  We have an abundance of take out shops.

And of course there are the buffets. But beware. As Confucius said: “You can lead a man to the buffet, but only a fool would select the macaroni and cheese.”

My Car, the Bird Bath Tank

April 13, 2013

I love nature.  Don’t get me wrong.  Perhaps it’s my compassion towards defenseless creatures.  More likely is my fear of what nature can do to me.  Regardless, as I write these words, my car is parked in the station parking lot, covered in bird, um, stuff.  Here’s my dilemma.

At home, our cars are parked next to a group of small pine trees.  Nestled inside, I’m sure, must be bird nests filled with eggs waiting to hatch.  Since our cars are parked within striking distance, it provides a perfect perch to watch over the nests, and do what birds do.  So as a result my car is covered with you-know-what.  I’ve been washing it off every day, but today didn’t have time.  My dark colored car looks strikingly like a zebra.

Making matters worse, is an issue with my exhaust.  Specifically my exhaust pipe, which has rusted through after less than three years and persistent cleaning of car under body.  I’ll be calling the muffler shop on Monday, but in the meantime, my small car sounds like a rumbling tank.  A bird-stuff-covered small, zebra-looking tank.

So, if you see me driving around in this vehicle, please be kind.  Soon enough my muffler will be repaired, the birds will hatch, and my car will be back to normal.  It’s just at the moment, I think the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile would be less conspicuous than what I’m driving right now.

-Keith, the weekend guy