Old jokes from an old joke book … please furnish your own rim shots ….
—My doctor put me on a very restrictive diet of Filet Mignon three times a day. In the first week I lost 200 dollars.
—Sign at a bar: “If you’re driving your husband to drink, drive him here!”
—Sign in a bar: “We do not serve women at this bar, bring your own!”
—Sign in a deli: “If you can’t smell it, we ain’t got it!”
—“LOST: Thick-lensed reading glasses. Finder, please advertise in large print.”
—“LOST: Wristwatch, second hand missing, winder loose, glass cracked. $10 reward if returned in perfect condition.”