Posted by Big Mike on October 23, 2013

Old jokes from an old joke book … please furnish your own rim shots ….

—My doctor put me on a very restrictive diet of Filet Mignon three times a day. In the first week I lost 200 dollars.

—Sign at a bar: “If you’re driving your husband to drink, drive him here!”

—Sign in a bar: “We do not serve women at this bar, bring your own!”

—Sign in a deli: “If you can’t smell it, we ain’t got it!”

—“LOST: Thick-lensed reading glasses.  Finder, please advertise in large print.”

—“LOST: Wristwatch, second hand missing, winder loose, glass cracked.  $10 reward if returned in perfect condition.”