My Car, the Bird Bath Tank

April 13, 2013

I love nature.  Don’t get me wrong.  Perhaps it’s my compassion towards defenseless creatures.  More likely is my fear of what nature can do to me.  Regardless, as I write these words, my car is parked in the station parking lot, covered in bird, um, stuff.  Here’s my dilemma.

At home, our cars are parked next to a group of small pine trees.  Nestled inside, I’m sure, must be bird nests filled with eggs waiting to hatch.  Since our cars are parked within striking distance, it provides a perfect perch to watch over the nests, and do what birds do.  So as a result my car is covered with you-know-what.  I’ve been washing it off every day, but today didn’t have time.  My dark colored car looks strikingly like a zebra.

Making matters worse, is an issue with my exhaust.  Specifically my exhaust pipe, which has rusted through after less than three years and persistent cleaning of car under body.  I’ll be calling the muffler shop on Monday, but in the meantime, my small car sounds like a rumbling tank.  A bird-stuff-covered small, zebra-looking tank.

So, if you see me driving around in this vehicle, please be kind.  Soon enough my muffler will be repaired, the birds will hatch, and my car will be back to normal.  It’s just at the moment, I think the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile would be less conspicuous than what I’m driving right now.

-Keith, the weekend guy